You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
