I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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