nut hugger
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
