i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
