Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
