Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
