I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
