Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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