I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
