I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
