yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
