Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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