He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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