So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
