You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
