Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
