nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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