We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
