You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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