Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
PANTIES FOUND
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
