All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
