According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we're making bets on your personal life
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
