Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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