Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
