It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
