I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
