I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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