That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
