i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
