I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
