We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So apparently I’m into choking now
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
