it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
