That's when you crack a 10am beer
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
