I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
