We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
