i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
