i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have already put on my inside pants.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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