he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
