Don't make out with my wife yet
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
