The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
