worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
