Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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