Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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