apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
