either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
