Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I love how my cats smell like pot.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
