We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
