I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
wakey wakey hands off snakey
no, he came in my armpit
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
