i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
