i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Randomize
