you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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