He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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