guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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