i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
