Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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